Meagan Maguire

We are kissing here,
on the manicured lawn of your dreams.
Wow, that is some lush color.
Greener than nature can manage.

You tell me how your rewards card gets you a 15% discount on grass seed.
“Baby, that’s 15% more grass green for your money green,”
you say and smirk.

Wow baby, you sure have a talent for finding lawn-related deals.
“Honey, you’re practically a human”
As I say that to you I pray you take it as a compliment.
“This is late stage capitalism, so of course I take comparisons to corporations as compliments.”

I get turned on when I think about very long receipts spurting out of machines,
especially receipts that have ads for customer satisfaction surveys on them.
Yes, I am very satisfied.

Oh god, oh god, there is no crab grass at all!
I am titillated by the uniformity of your lawn.
Give me that come hither look from your riding mover
as I pull up slowly in my sleek SUV.

Yes it is a beige SUV. Beige is an excitingly acceptable color.
Tonight we’ll eat at Applebee’s and even order our usual dessert as a treat.
Yes, I am very satisfied.
Oh god, yes.